Timing is Everything

One of my blog readers emailed me last week with this question. "My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years. Most of that time we lived in separate cities because I was in grad school. However, when I moved to Atlanta where he worked, there was no real discussion about moving in together. He wanted to wait until we were engaged. Six weeks ago he lost his job. Last night at dinner he suggested he move into my place and that it might be time to talk about getting married. I really want to get married. However, his situation seems really unstable. What do you think?"

Plain and simple, the answer is no. He was in no mood to get married until he was going to be unable to pay rent. I think you might say something to him like this, "We have taken our relationship at a very conservative pace. I think it's clear it's a priority for both of us that we do not rush and that we are both in really stable places in our own lives before we take the next step together. I don't know what the next step is, getting married or engaged, or just moving in together. However, I do know when we take that step, you will feel better if you have your ducks in a row before we do anything. The timing just isn't right."